Antonio came bounding off the bus to me as he usually does this afternoon and we walked back home. As he was unpacking he said he was STARVING. Which is weird because he rarely even eats his whole lunch.
So we unpacked and he ate a banana.
He asked for another because he was still hungry. I agreed and as he was attempting to peel it he became very frustrated, more than normal. I offered to help him peel it. As I began to open it he got very upset. Upset because he couldn't open it. I told him it was ok and that sometimes they are hard for me as well. He didn't take that response very well.
He ate his second banana and once he was finished I asked him to take out his homework, as we do everyday after school.
He got very upset again. I asked him if he was ok and what was wrong. He said very upset, that he was still hungry and didn't want to do his homework.
However, he didn't want any other food and then claimed he was just mad. I told him if he needed to get his anger out he could on a pillow or the couch. I was surprised to see him pick up the pillows and hit the couch with them a few times all while crying.
Clearly something was wrong.
We sat and talked about his day. He insisted nothing bad happened to him or his friends. We talked about if anything happened at school he didn't like and thats where he filled me in.
He has a friend that he always plays with at recess. Rarely do they play with other kids. Well today at second recess, this friend told Antonio that he "didn't wan't to play with him, he wanted to play with someone else instead". Antonio promptly started crying harder while telling me this and said that it hurt his heart and that it hurt his feelings "so much" that this friend didn't want to play with him. I asked him what he did then and said he just played alone which made him feel lonely and sad.
Ugh...
Talk about heart breaking. I tried my best to keep it together but it was hard. Once we were over the fact that his feelings were so hurt I asked him why he didn't just play with them. He said he didn't know what they were playing or how to play it. I asked him why he then didn't just go look for his other friends to play with and he said he didn't know where to look for them and he really just wanted to play with this particular friend. When you're 6 and everyone kinda looks the same I guess I see why you wouldn't but clearly we need to work on this.
Thank goodness I don't have a girl. As sensitive and big hearted as Antonio is, I am guessing a girl would be much harder.
So he agreed that if this happens again tomorrow he will just ask to play with them. Let's hope. I highly doubt this friend was mean about it or even knew what had happened. They are just 6 and 7 year olds. They are barely thinking of others and how their actions affect others at this point. I will admit, I had to reel back my Mama Bear instincts though, it killed me to see his feeling hurt so badly. It does however, help to know this friend a little and know that he does actually like Antonio back and is a really sweet kid. But man, when someone does hurt Antonio, on purpose, I can see I could be trouble. Ha!
Happily, he hasn't mentioned it since he first told me so hopefully he has already forgotten about it. Lets hope tomorrow will be better at recess! :)
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Friday, February 5, 2016
Helicopter Mom
Some may call me that and maybe its the truth at times. And if so, is that so bad?
Maybe I am a bit over protective too. Or is that the same? I don't know but I do know I hate all the mom tittles. Why can we just be Moms in ways we see fit?
I partly blame my anxieties. I constantly battle the "what if's". I also "blame/defend" it on the fact Antonio is very reserved and doesn't always speak up for himself if he needs help or isn't ok. And maybe I created that too... He's also so sensitive, he wears his whole heart on his sleeve and tends to feel every positive, and negative, emotion so strongly.
Regardless, I feel like there are legit reasons for my "helicopter/overprotectiveness" ways. Antonio is, as you know, 6, well 6.5 and in 1st grade. So most of his friends are 7 or turning 7. He only has a handful of kids he calls his friends. We recently went to one of those friends birthdays and it was the first time meeting their mom/parents. We had briefly talked via text and she had mentioned I could drop him off for the party. I quickly responded by asking if it was ok if I stayed to. Happily she was completely fine with it. We went and Antonio had so much fun and this friends Mom was great and made time to talk with me all while hosting the party. She mentioned about having a sleep over at their house. I was somewhat surprised and probably answered to fast with a "no". I tried to back track so it was so awkward, and probably only made it worse. Ha. I really hope I didn't look like a snobby, overprotective Mom.
In all honestly, no. I don't want to have Antonio have a sleep over at any friends house, it's not just this particular friends house. I don't really know this Mom, nor does Antonio and he has only been to this house once, that day. I felt like it was a first date and she was asking me to spend the night. Ok, it wasn't that drastic but in some way, for me it was. Nobody had suggested a sleepover before so I had never really thought about it, so I panicked. Before my child sleeps at anyones house but my moms, I need to know you and I need to know my child feels comfortable enough with you and your house. Sadly (in the sense of possible embarrassment), Antonio just had a solo play date with a friend at their house, without me a few months ago. I know the mom (and completely trust her), and kids pretty well and we had been to their house often enough Antonio felt comfortable there too. Of course it was fine and quite frankly he had a blast and seemed proud about it doing it alone, he even asked it he could have this friend over and have there be no moms there. So basically he's already wanting to throw parties here. :)
I have been consumed with sleep over idea all week. Am I crazy and overprotective to say no about a sleepover AND for not just dropping Antonio off for the party? I actually had a different Mom this week ask if we'd (Antonio and I) be interested in a sleep over. In some ways that scenario is completely different. I do know the Mom and I'd even dare say pretty well considering I just met her a few months ago. I've seen her parent her littlest and was impressed. Watching someone parent their child can say a lot about them and how they would "take care of" my child, in my opinion. This particular Mom is so patient, attentive and compassionate; I would completely trust her with my kid. She's the kind of Mom that seems to have it all together. Spending the night though, she's only won half the battle, I'd need Antonio to know her and her house too before feeling comfortable with a sleepover. :)
So tell me Mama's, am I crazy to be worrying about all this? Maybe he's ready, maybe not. I know that in the end, I know my child and if he's ready better than anyone, but is this the norm? Are a lot of kids having sleepovers at this age? Should I view this as a possibility in the near future if Antonio is ready? I just don't know...
Maybe I am a bit over protective too. Or is that the same? I don't know but I do know I hate all the mom tittles. Why can we just be Moms in ways we see fit?
I partly blame my anxieties. I constantly battle the "what if's". I also "blame/defend" it on the fact Antonio is very reserved and doesn't always speak up for himself if he needs help or isn't ok. And maybe I created that too... He's also so sensitive, he wears his whole heart on his sleeve and tends to feel every positive, and negative, emotion so strongly.
Regardless, I feel like there are legit reasons for my "helicopter/overprotectiveness" ways. Antonio is, as you know, 6, well 6.5 and in 1st grade. So most of his friends are 7 or turning 7. He only has a handful of kids he calls his friends. We recently went to one of those friends birthdays and it was the first time meeting their mom/parents. We had briefly talked via text and she had mentioned I could drop him off for the party. I quickly responded by asking if it was ok if I stayed to. Happily she was completely fine with it. We went and Antonio had so much fun and this friends Mom was great and made time to talk with me all while hosting the party. She mentioned about having a sleep over at their house. I was somewhat surprised and probably answered to fast with a "no". I tried to back track so it was so awkward, and probably only made it worse. Ha. I really hope I didn't look like a snobby, overprotective Mom.
In all honestly, no. I don't want to have Antonio have a sleep over at any friends house, it's not just this particular friends house. I don't really know this Mom, nor does Antonio and he has only been to this house once, that day. I felt like it was a first date and she was asking me to spend the night. Ok, it wasn't that drastic but in some way, for me it was. Nobody had suggested a sleepover before so I had never really thought about it, so I panicked. Before my child sleeps at anyones house but my moms, I need to know you and I need to know my child feels comfortable enough with you and your house. Sadly (in the sense of possible embarrassment), Antonio just had a solo play date with a friend at their house, without me a few months ago. I know the mom (and completely trust her), and kids pretty well and we had been to their house often enough Antonio felt comfortable there too. Of course it was fine and quite frankly he had a blast and seemed proud about it doing it alone, he even asked it he could have this friend over and have there be no moms there. So basically he's already wanting to throw parties here. :)
I have been consumed with sleep over idea all week. Am I crazy and overprotective to say no about a sleepover AND for not just dropping Antonio off for the party? I actually had a different Mom this week ask if we'd (Antonio and I) be interested in a sleep over. In some ways that scenario is completely different. I do know the Mom and I'd even dare say pretty well considering I just met her a few months ago. I've seen her parent her littlest and was impressed. Watching someone parent their child can say a lot about them and how they would "take care of" my child, in my opinion. This particular Mom is so patient, attentive and compassionate; I would completely trust her with my kid. She's the kind of Mom that seems to have it all together. Spending the night though, she's only won half the battle, I'd need Antonio to know her and her house too before feeling comfortable with a sleepover. :)
So tell me Mama's, am I crazy to be worrying about all this? Maybe he's ready, maybe not. I know that in the end, I know my child and if he's ready better than anyone, but is this the norm? Are a lot of kids having sleepovers at this age? Should I view this as a possibility in the near future if Antonio is ready? I just don't know...
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