Spring Break...

FAIL....

Thats right, I had a Spring break fail.

We didn't go anywhere exciting or really anywhere. Everything is SO expensive during Spring Break. Albert worked and we opted to just stay home. Monday was kind of a crumy day weather wise but the rest of the week just got better and better!

During the week Antonio and I went to the Childrens Museum in Everett which it seemed as if he is approaching the age where it isn't nearly as fun as it used to be. They have a great outdoor play area on their roof and I asked him 3 or 4 times if he wanted to check it out but I kept getting a no. We also went to two different beaches (different days), 3 different parks (1 park twice), he spent an afternoon with Grammy, we planted some plants and went on numerous bike rides.

I told him this morning that we would probably stick around home today because we had lots to do at home. He somewhat happily obliged. I asked him if he had a good Spring Break and I was somewhat surprised to hear him say "no".

Wait, what?

Yup, he says he wanted to go to the rooftop play area at the Childrens Museum (which he had numerous opportunities to do that day), he wanted go to a hotel, and he wanted to have his birthday party this week. I told him I had fun and that my favorite things were going to the beach. He then told me he didn't like the beaches we went to because he wanted to go to a sandy beach... Oye.

Yeah, those are hard to find around here. I told him I would try to find a good one to go to next time. So if anyone asks him about his Spring Break I am guessing he'll tell them it wasn't fun. Here I was thinking we had fun, granted we didn't do anything special but we also didn't sit a home. Obviously I was wrong.  Summer may be a long break if his expectations are so high and he doesn't voice his "wants" up front. Good thing we're going to California and having his birthday over the summer. Those two things will take care of his sandy beach and birthday party wants! Granted, that might make the rest of the break even more blah.

So in a matter of moments he knocked me right off my "feeling good" about our week and now I feel like I completely failed at having a fun Spring Break with him... :( Anyone have any suggestions of good sandy beaches that we don't have to drive far to get to?

Hurt feelings

Antonio came bounding off the bus to me as he usually does this afternoon and we walked back home. As he was unpacking he said he was STARVING. Which is weird because he rarely even eats his whole lunch.

So we unpacked and he ate a banana.

He asked for another because he was still hungry. I agreed and as he was attempting to peel it he became very frustrated, more than normal. I offered to help him peel it. As I began to open it he got very upset. Upset because he couldn't open it. I told him it was ok and that sometimes they are hard for me as well. He didn't take that response very well.

He ate his second banana and once he was finished I asked him to take out his homework, as we do everyday after school.

He got very upset again. I asked him if he was ok and what was wrong. He said very upset, that he was still hungry and didn't want to do his homework.

However, he didn't want any other food and then claimed he was just mad. I told him if he needed to get his anger out he could on a pillow or the couch. I was surprised to see him pick up the pillows and hit the couch with them a few times all while crying.

Clearly something was wrong.

We sat and talked about his day. He insisted nothing bad happened to him or his friends. We talked about if anything happened at school he didn't like and thats where he filled me in.

He has a friend that he always plays with at recess. Rarely do they play with other kids. Well today at second recess, this friend told Antonio that he "didn't wan't to play with him, he wanted to play with someone else instead". Antonio promptly started crying harder while telling me this and said that it hurt his heart and that it hurt his feelings "so much" that this friend didn't want to play with him. I asked him what he did then and said he just played alone which made him feel lonely and sad.

Ugh...

Talk about heart breaking. I tried my best to keep it together but it was hard. Once we were over the fact that his feelings were so hurt I asked him why he didn't just play with them. He said he didn't know what they were playing or how to play it. I asked him why he then didn't just go look for his other friends to play with and he said he didn't know where to look for them and he really just wanted to play with this particular friend. When you're 6 and everyone kinda looks the same I guess I see why you wouldn't but clearly we need to work on this.

Thank goodness I don't have a girl. As sensitive and big hearted as Antonio is, I am guessing a girl would be much harder.

So he agreed that if this happens again tomorrow he will just ask to play with them. Let's hope. I highly doubt this friend was mean about it or even knew what had happened. They are just 6 and 7 year olds. They are barely thinking of others and how their actions affect others at this point. I will admit, I had to reel back my Mama Bear instincts though, it killed me to see his feeling hurt so badly. It does however, help to know this friend a little and know that he does actually like Antonio back and is a really sweet kid. But man, when someone does hurt Antonio, on purpose, I can see I could be trouble. Ha!

Happily, he hasn't mentioned it since he first told me so hopefully he has already forgotten about it. Lets hope tomorrow will be better at recess! :)

Helicopter Mom

Some may call me that and maybe its the truth at times. And if so, is that so bad?

Maybe I am a bit over protective too. Or is that the same? I don't know but I do know I hate all the mom tittles. Why can we just be Moms in ways we see fit?

I partly blame my anxieties. I constantly battle the "what if's". I also "blame/defend" it on the fact Antonio is very reserved and doesn't always speak up for himself if he needs help or isn't ok. And maybe I created that too... He's also so sensitive, he wears his whole heart on his sleeve and tends to feel every positive, and negative, emotion so strongly.

Regardless, I feel like there are legit reasons for my "helicopter/overprotectiveness" ways. Antonio is, as you know, 6, well 6.5 and in 1st grade. So most of his friends are 7 or turning 7. He only has a handful of kids he calls his friends. We recently went to one of those friends birthdays and it was the first time meeting their mom/parents. We had briefly talked via text and she had mentioned I could drop him off for the party. I quickly responded by asking if it was ok if I stayed to. Happily she was completely fine with it. We went and Antonio had so much fun and this friends Mom was great and made time to talk with me all while hosting the party. She mentioned about having a sleep over at their house. I was somewhat surprised and probably answered to fast with a "no". I tried to back track so it was so awkward, and probably only made it worse. Ha. I really hope I didn't look like a snobby, overprotective Mom.

In all honestly, no. I don't want to have Antonio have a sleep over at any friends house, it's not just this particular friends house. I don't really know this Mom,  nor does Antonio and he has only been to this house once, that day. I felt like it was a first date and she was asking me to spend the night. Ok, it wasn't that drastic but in some way, for me it was. Nobody had suggested a sleepover before so I had never really thought about it, so I panicked. Before my child sleeps at anyones house but my moms, I need to know you and I need to know my child feels comfortable enough with you and your house. Sadly (in the sense of possible embarrassment), Antonio just had a solo play date with a friend at their house, without me a few months ago. I know the mom (and completely trust her), and kids pretty well and we had been to their house often enough Antonio felt comfortable there too. Of course it was fine and quite frankly he had a blast and seemed proud about it doing it alone, he even asked it he could have this friend over and have there be no moms there. So basically he's already wanting to throw parties here. :)

I have been consumed with sleep over idea all week. Am I crazy and overprotective to say no about a sleepover AND for not just dropping Antonio off for the party? I actually had a different Mom this week ask if we'd (Antonio and I) be interested in a sleep over. In some ways that scenario is completely different. I do know the Mom and I'd even dare say pretty well considering I just met her a few months ago. I've seen her parent her littlest and was impressed. Watching someone parent their child can say a lot about them and how they would "take care of" my child, in my opinion. This particular Mom is so patient, attentive and compassionate; I would completely trust her with my kid. She's the kind of Mom that seems to have it all together. Spending the night though, she's only won half the battle, I'd need Antonio to know her and her house too before feeling comfortable with a sleepover. :)

So tell me Mama's, am I crazy to be worrying about all this? Maybe he's ready, maybe not. I know that in the end, I know my child and if he's ready better than anyone, but is this the norm? Are a lot of kids having sleepovers at this age? Should I view this as a possibility in the near future if Antonio is ready? I just don't know...

Christmas

Merry Christmas Eve!

I can't believe today is Christmas Eve! I feel like I have been waiting all year for it. Well I guess I technically have. Those of you who have known me for awhile know that I used to have OCD, obsessed Christmas disorder. I saw that once and loved it. I really did. In jr. high and high school I would start playing Christmas music as soon as I could. I even remember fondly one afternoon calling my friend Myriah so we could simultaneously start the songs at the exact same time. Of course it took quite a few tries until we got it but we did. Pretty sure my Mom wasn't at home at the time. I loved everything about Christmas and would be giddy with excitement.

If I remember right, this is a Christmas card I sent out one year. It was about how I felt inside too! :)

Then for some reason I slowly lost the excitement.

Don't get me wrong I still got excited but it wasn't the same. Maybe it was the growing up part. Then I had Antonio and I thought for sure I would get it back, and I did but not like back then. This year, however, is different. Maybe it is because I am home, not working, and ready. The stress that most of us get around this time of year wasn't present this year. And Antonio? Well he is so excited. This is the year he gets it. He was so excited to see Santa, even wrote a wishlist a few days before we went to see him so he could show him. Thus after trying so hard to get him to write one.

Antonio waiting in line to see Santa with his wishlist!

He was also excited to put up decorations and the tree. One day he came home with three songs he had to practice for his Christmas concert. We practiced everyday at least once and that helped get his excitement going. Then one day he came home with a paper Christmas countdown chain thing, you know, the kind you cut strips of paper and then attach them to make to make a long chain?! You could tell Mrs. Gilmore had been talking about Christmas in class, which I am sure is a big "no-no" but I love it. All the talk at school, stories and crafts he was doing, was building the excitement. 

Although at the beginning of last week, he told me that a boy in his class told him Santa wasn't real. I panicked and said, "what?!". I had no idea what to say. He said that "blank" told him Santa wasn't real. I told him yes he was, how else did the presents get to all the good boys and girls. He paused for a few moments and said, "Yeah, what does "blank" know? He is only at level A (for reading) and I am at H so I know more!" I quickly agreed and went a long with the "trashing" of the poor kid. I felt badly for two reasons. One, that I encouraged the fact that the kid doesn't know very much because he isn't a very good reader and two, because the kid has been told Santa doesn't exist. Which, in my opinion, is more sad than the encouraging of the idea that the low reading level meant he wasn't smart. All kids at this age (6 & 7) should be believing in Santa, at least those who "do" Christmas. This kid is also one who probably doesn't get many gifts which is maybe why he's been told Santa doesn't exist. It kinda breaks my heart for the kid.

All this week Antonio has been out of school and he has been so happy and excited! Happily Tuesday night he spent the night at Grammy and Grampas, which he loved. We've watched The Polar Express (which we only watch in December) 3 or 4 times, A Charlie Brown Christmas and Elf. Last night as we were saying good night he asked me how Santa would get through the glass and I had no idea what he meant. We have a gas fireplace with glass on the front. I told him I didn't know because every time Santa has come before I was sleeping since Santa only comes after everyone is asleep. Then he said, Santa's just really sneaky then, to which I agreed. He hasn't realized we don't have a chimney for Santa to go down yet, and I hope he doesn't realize it, t least not this year. Ha. This morning Antonio asked if I had wrapped his present yet, hence present, not presents. I told him I hadn't and he proceeded to ask if I needed help doing so. More proof he is his Papa's son. :) 

This morning we had a special Christmas Eve breakfast! Since I know were will be eating a lot of junk the next few days I decided that breakfast should be a healthier treat this morning and he was still super excited about it!  He loves his croissants! 

I hope you all have a fun and exciting Christmas Eve building up to tonight when Santa comes and then tomorrow, Christmas Day. We've already checked out Norad to see where Santa is. I am so loving this holiday season and it is so much fun seeing it through Antonio! I hope this level of excitement continues for at least a few more years! I know I will do everything I can to keep it this way! Try not to get caught up in the hustle and bustle; slow down and remember what Linus says in the Charlie Brown Christmas movie about what Christmas is all about. 

Even if you aren't the religious type, the idea about it being about something so much bigger than the Christmas tree and presents is so true. Take time to enjoy friends and family and remember what is was like when you were 6 or 7; all the excitement and anticipation! And for those of you who have all the presents still to wrap tonight, light a fire (or just flip the switch), get a glass of wine, put on your favorite Christmas movie or Christmas music and as you wrap each gift, think about that specific person you bought it for. Oh and, spread out 3-4 rolls of tape so you will ALWAYS find it! :) Ha! 

We hope you all have a very Merry Christmas tomorrow! One more day! :)